ruinnewb 2010-05-20 00:34:32

HA!

superfrickingbigmac 2011-01-21 22:00:08

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superfrickingbigmac 2011-01-21 22:01:16

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superfrickingbigmac 2011-01-21 22:03:33

Hello my name is Lisa, I am a Representative with a Talent Marketing and Promotions Company. We are currently looking for talent for a NEW REALITY TV SHOW with the following needed:

Models, Actors, Musicians, Dancers, Singers, DJ's and Comedians.

If you would like apply for an audition for the show call:

(toll free) 1-866-278-7780

We are interested in speaking with you as soon as possible. Call anytime Monday - Friday between 9am-7pm Eastern/Standard Time.

Thank you,

Lisa Johnson - Casting Director

Hi Lisa,

My name is Jonathan Land, and I'm a producer in our wonderful field of Reality Television. I don't know about you, but I'm shocked that people like you and I are still working today. I thought the bubble would have burst a few years ago, but lo and behold, I sold my pilot episode for "Doctor-Patient Confidential Camera" to UPN just last week. You won't believe the medical symptoms people admit to having when they think only their doctor will know! If this one's a hit, I'm going to rig up some church confessional booths to get some even juicier material.

It was an easy sell, but I believe our reign of the boob tube will be coming to an end, despite our success, if we don't affect a change. The media landscape is being razed by the Religious Right, and having a level playing field of wholesome, inoffensive TV is not why I got into this business. I'm already feeling the heat of censorship on one of my proven ratings winners, "Leper Face-Off". It's the only game where you can lose by a nose by not losing your nose!

These wackos in the minority would rather screech their whiny voices at any timid executive than use their God-given power to flip the channel on their remote control. It's a quicker and simpler solution to their problem. Buzzkills. Today Howard Stern is being made an example of by ClearChannel, tomorrow the next logical target is for the major networks to turn on us. I don't want to be bullied into basic cable, do you? Our shows are all about sex and questionable behavior on the parts of both the contestants and us behind-the-scenes folks. If we don't act now, we might as well just acquire the rights to every 50's and 60's sitcom we can find, because the future will be the boring past. Unfortunately, in this unreasonable climate, we would have to re-title "Leave it to Beaver" and use CGI to convert Gidget's